Become One with the Land

     It’s not very often that I do a consumer review, but something has come up that I wanted to get off of my chest. For the past few months I’ve been using TRESemmé hair products. Why? Well, because they’re cheap, they smell okay and my hair feels pretty good when I get out of the shower. It’s a standard product for a standard price and for awhile I was content with that.

    Two weeks ago I got bored and decided I want to switch things up. I walked into the drug store and paced the product aisle looking for something new, exciting and a little more expensive—just as an experiment of sorts. What I found was ABBA.

     ABBA is a 100% vegan hair styling product, so I felt like I was doing someone a favor on top of getting quality. Plus, I found a shampoo and conditioner that smelled like mint, which I love. When you use product that smells like mint in the morning it’s incredibly invigorating—wakes you right up. I squished some goop into my hands and got to lathering. I could smell the mint for sure, but the actual feeling of my hair was…odd. I continued regardless. I went for the conditioner and gave it a smoosh. Now a new smell. Some mint to be sure, but something else as well…wet dog. Wet dog!?!?!

    Maybe it was a fluke. I got out of the shower and engaged in my normal styling regime when I noticed the end result; my hair had turned to straw. The hippies had done it. They wanted to become one with nature and they finally had. I tried and tried to run my fingers through my once soft hair, but nothing. Just rough, stringy, painful fists of fury.

   ABBA blows. Sure it’s 100% veggie, but maybe that isn’t so great. Maybe you need all of those magic chemicals to make your hair shiny, smooth and fucking bearable. I wouldn’t recommend this stuff. Maybe I just smell like wet dog, maybe it just doesn’t work well on my hair and maybe it’s actually the best goop in the world—I’m just sayin’.

3 thoughts on “Become One with the Land

  1. Why do you hate the Earth, Katie? Would it be better if they had perhaps squirted some of the shampoo into a little bunny’s eyeballs while at the same time shaving it using as a palette for 14 different types of skin moisturizers?

    Answer: Probably.

  2. I like the consumer reviews, can you just start trying a bunch of expensive champus and conditioners and tell me which one is the best value. You could be my very own “Elle”.

What say you?